The Importance of Handling Criticism

An important application of Neuro-linguistic frame is for handling criticism. The dissociative frame is used for removing an emotion from an experience using Neuro-linguistic training. This procedure was developed by Neuro-linguistic Programming experts Steve and Connirae Andreas, by modeling people who are able to turn criticism into feedback.

The steps taken for efficiently handling criticism are:

1. Enter a dissociative state. Look at yourself from a distance. Since you are not the person receiving the criticism, any negative feeling associated with the episode will also be dissociated.

2. Dissociate yourself from the criticism by seeing the other you “over there” getting the criticism. Watch yourself before the start of criticism. When the criticism starts, see that a version of you steps out of the first you and starts watching the first you receive the criticism. This is experiencing double dissociation. Since double dissociation might be tricky, you can alternatively watch the first you and see the words used by the critic printed on an imaginary blackboard floating in the air.

3. Make a movie out of the content of the criticism. Ask questions to the critic as to what he means by any vague statements and use that information to make the movie.

4. Evaluate the criticism given. Decide which part of the criticism you agree with and which part you do not agree. By comparing movies of your experience and that of the critic, you can look for mismatches. If there are too many mismatches, ask questions to the critic to gather further information.

5. Decide what would be your response. Since you have all the information at hand, you can decide which items of the criticism you agree with, and which items you do not agree. First talk about all the items you agree with, and then share the items you do not agree along with the reason. Apologize for parts you need to correct in order to maintain rapport.

6. Bring a change in your behavior as per the new findings from the criticism. Start to adjust your behavior then onwards by imagining a situation and practicing your response with the new behavior. This helps train the unconscious mind.

7. Incorporate the enlightened you inside you. This means remove all barriers and pull in the new improved you, the one who was watching you from a dissociative frame. Let this new you integrate into your unconscious mind.

The Dissociative Frame

According to Neuro-linguistic courses, the dissociative frame can also be used to cure phobias and traumas. Our personality is a result of our memories. By reframing our memories using the Fast Phobia Cure, described in Richard Bandler’s book “Using your brain for a change”, we can get rid of any negative hurtful memories. This can help us develop a more positive outlook about life and develop an exceptional personality. Using dissociation, we can remove negative emotional impact of undesirable memories and then recode the visual and kinesthetic characteristics of the memory, as per Neuro-linguistic courses.

A simplified approach for fast phobia cure is :

1. Establish a resource anchor to bring the client out of the traumatic state.
2. Praise the client on his mind’s ability to remember events
3. Using a blank movie screen, project the client into a time when he felt safe
4. Tell the client to be in the projection booth looking at himself sitting in the theatre
5. Tell the client to run a black and white movie of the bad memory on the screen, and experience a double dissociation by watching himself in the theatre watching the movie.
6. On reaching the end of the scene, freeze the frame and turn into a blank screen

7. Help the client associate with the image at the end of the scene after surviving the event
8. Ask the client to view the movie backwards in color.
9. Repeat the process till the kinesthetic or the image disappears
10. Test the client by letting him imagine the phobic state in the future, and rerun the process if phobia is still present.

The Importance of Handling Criticism

The Dissociative Frame

Tags