NLP Mirror and Match Features

There are other features that you can mirror and match using Neuro-linguistic programming. You can observe the blinking rate, facial expressions or tension in muscles of the person and match them.

You can even shape your lower lip to match that of the other person. You can blink your eyes with the same rate as that of the other person, although keep the blinking time askew in order to appeal to the unconscious mind without irritating the person.

Another brilliant method for developing a deep rapport is by matching the breathing of a person, according to Neuro-linguistic training. People usually breathe out when they talk. Match this action by breathing out when the person talks. When the person breathes in, you take a matching breath too. When you are doing the talking, speak and breathe out when the person is breathing out. Inhale the same time the person takes a breath. By observing the top of the shoulders you can interpret and predict the breathing pattern. The rise of the shoulder will indicate inhaling, while the fall of shoulders will indication exhaling.

As per Neuro-linguistic courses, another great method of mirroring and matching is adopting similar tone of voice. A significant part of the communication depends on the quality of the tone, the pitch, volume, speed etc. Matching someone’s tone is a great way to building rapport. Try to match as many aspects of the voice as possible, although do not try to show off your mimicry skills. If a person has a soft voice, match the softness in your speech. If a person speaks very fast, try to talk with a matching speed without speaking gibberish. If a person speaks loudly, you too talk loudly, without disturbing the neighbors. According to Neuro-linguistic training, matching someone’s voice will give you an instant rapport, and is easier to imitate, match and mirror.

Although both Neuro-linguistic mirroring and matching techniques emulate a person physiology, breathing, words and tone, there is a subtle difference between the two, as per Neuro-linguistic courses. The difference lies in the degree or level of emulation. Mirroring technique means that you become a mirror of the person. If a person crosses his arms with the right arm over the left arm, you mirror this position by crossing your left arm over the right arm. It is like the person is looking in a mirror, where your physiology is a complete reflection of theirs. When you are mirroring the words of another person, you respond with the exact same words that he has used.

On the other hand, matching is not an exact reflection of the other person, as per Neuro-linguistic courses. For example if a person crosses his left leg over the right leg, you will be matching the person even if you cross your left leg over the right leg. Crossover mirroring is also a form of matching technique. While mirroring is a precise reflection, matching is a more general image of the other person. When matching words of another person, the exact words of the other person will not be used. Instead, you will try to use similar words to convey the meaning.

According to Neuro-linguistic training, matching and mirroring can be applied to our every day interactions for a better rapport. However, in cases when we are in an argument, or someone is talking in an angry, reprimanding or condescending manner, we need to understand what aspects of the person we should mirror and match.

It is important that we do not emulate the angry or condescending content of the other person. If someone is shouting at you using abusive language, reply back in neutral words. You can however mirror the Neuro-linguistic physiology and tone of this person. Use similar gestures when responding, and adjust your voice tone according to the other persons pitch, volume, speed and quality. It is important that your response is non-threatening in nature, otherwise it will further aggravate the other person. You can practice facing such tricky situations by asking your family or friends to perform a mock dispute, in case you do not tend to real arguments.

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