Master Listener

What is Active Listening?

Every expert communicator already knows the importance of active listening. Active listening includes the ability to perform such skills as paraphrasing, mirroring, and clarifying. If you are already good at active listening, then you realize that it is good to vary these skills when you are in the process of conversing with someone.

But chances are you feel insecure with your listening abilities – otherwise you would not be reading this article! Let us go over some of the things you need to know in order to make the transition from being a poor listener to a master listener.

You should have a firm grasp of everything that active listening entails. Active listening begins with concentration. If you are unable to focus on a speaker with your eyes and really pay attention to the words he is saying – as well as taking note of their inflection and their body language – then you are not actively listening to them.

A second strategy that every active listener engages is acknowledgement. Using your body to pay heed to the words the speaker is saying – nodding your head when the moment is right or saying affirming phrases like “uh huh” – these are all excellent methods for ensuring both the speaker and yourself that you are actively listening to what is being said.

When is it my turn to Speak?

You should never interrupt someone when they are speaking. You probably learned this from an early age. But maybe you were never taught the reasons why. You were probably just told that it is rude to interrupt someone when they are talking.

But it also blocks effective listening. We usually interrupt for one of two reasons – we may think that we already know what the other person is going to say and that we could put it better in our own words; or we wish to respond to something that they have just said before they go on to the next thought.

In the former instance, we are often mistaken, whether we realize it or not – which merely results in the other person feeling compelled to then interrupt our interruption in order to clarify what they should have been able to say in their own words anyway. This can often lead to conflict or mutual bad feelings towards one another.

In the second case, it is much better to allow the person to complete their thought before injecting our own ideas.

Otherwise, the person will feel frustrated that they have not been given a chance to fully express their ideas, and will resent you for “intruding.”

When it is your turn to speak, use that as a moment to ask the speaker questions in order to clarify what he has just said before injecting your own ideas in to the scenario. This is something that a master listener should already know.

Next Page: How can I empathize with the other person?