NLP Mirroring and Matching Techniques

Mirroring and matching are two techniques of Neuro-linguistic Programming used to gain rapport at the unconscious level. This is possible by becoming like the person with whom you need to make a connection.

Introduction

Generally, people look, act, sound and move like one another, they tend to notice the similarity at the unconscious level and therefore get along with each other. It is a natural process to help things come in a state of harmony. Even two similar pendulums suspended with a taut wire will tend to synchronize their swimming motion. We can therefore gain rapport with any person by emulating the person using the process of mirroring and matching given in Neuro-linguistic programming.

You can start by observing groups of people who are comfortable and enjoy with each other. You can observe people at hangouts, restaurants, meetings etc. On careful observation, these people will seem to behave in synchronization with each other, by talking, eating, sitting or gesturing in a similar manner. They will sit in similar positions, and have similar kind of behavior. These actions are not deliberate, but happen at the unconscious level once they have entered the state of rapport.

There are several Neuro-linguistic elements in our behavior that we can mirror and match using Neuro-linguistic programming. We can mirror or match ones voice and posture, blinking and facial expression, words and gesturing, physiology and position. For example if a person tilts his head to the left, we should tilt the head to the right, just like a mirror. Align your posture similar to the curvature of the spine. When you sit across someone, you can assume a mirror position of the hands, legs, head etc. When a person talks, you can observe the gestures used and hand movements. You can use the same gestures when responding back. However, do not try to imitate every gesture every time; else, it will look like you are playing the monkey game. When a person is talking simply notice the gestures used, and use them when you are responding.

It is advisable to be discreet when using the matching and mirroring techniques of Neuro-linguistic programming. You can delay an action by a few seconds. For example if the person shift his position, you can match it by shift after some time.

Another useful technique is to use crossover mirroring. In crossover mirroring, when a person changes one part of his physiology, you can mirror it by changing some other part of your Neuro-linguistic physiology. That means, if the person moves his leg, you can do a crossover mirroring by moving your hand. You can match the breathing of a person, by moving your fingers with the same frequency as that of the breathing. Such Neuro-linguistic techniques will help you implement the mirroring and matching techniques without making the person consciously aware of your behavior.