There are times when you need to make a point, but you have to do it right. When it comes to speaking their minds, the vast majority of people in this world fall under either one of two categories: they either speak their minds without considering the feelings of others, or they do not speak their minds at all. To become successful, you must be different from these people.
You must know how to speak your mind without offending a lot of people at the same time. However, one thing that you have to accept is that you will sometimes ruffle the feathers of others when speaking your mind, and the reason for this is because there will always be people who do not agree with you.
When it comes to speaking your mind, the last thing you want to be is a coward. A coward tries to avoid speaking his mind "in order to avoid conflict." Trying to avoid conflict is worthless and meaningless, simply because it is a fact of life.
We live in a world full of non-altruistic humans who think first and foremost of themselves. What this means is that they will be quick to impose their ways of life on you, and many of them will try to control you. Your goal should be to make sure this does not happen.
The best way to accomplish this is by knowing how to speak your mind. The first step in speaking your mind properly is to monitor your tone of voice. Even if someone is doing something that angers you, you will want to tell them this is in a calm manner.
Your tone of voice communicates a lot, and if it conveys anger or similar emotions, it will hurt others or push them away. Your goal should be to maintain a calm demeanor and tone of voice at all times. The second step in effectively speaking your mind is to pay attention to the words you use.
It is always a bad idea to speak your mind without taking the time "to think before you speak." Remember, once the words come out of your mouth, there is no way to put them back in. If you say something which hurts someone, you may try to repair the damage by apologizing, but depending on the circumstances, the damage may be done.
Therefore, the best way to speak your mind effectively is to think carefully about what you say. You can become a master of getting your point across to others without being rude in the process.
Many people are not assertive because they are too aggressive. They are quick to insult others, and some even resort to using foul language in order to make sure they get their point across. Behaving in this manner will almost always drive people away.
In many cases, when you are blatantly rude when speaking your mind, your words will simply "go in one ear and come out the other." While people will hear you, they will not listen with attention, or if they do, they will only hear the negative things that you said.
The ability to speak your mind properly is a critical skill that should never be taken for granted. In this world, there will be times when you will need to get your point across, and depending on the field you work in, this could be daily.
By thinking about the things you say before you say it, you will save yourself a lot of headaches, and you will often be able to maintain relationships which would otherwise be lost. It is also important to make sure you avoid "not saying anything," as this will only cause feelings to build up inside you.
Not saying anything is just as bad as saying the wrong thing. If someone or something is bothering you, not saying anything for fear of causing conflict will not help the situation. In most cases, the person offending you may not realize they are doing it, and if you do not tell them anything, they will keep doing it. But if you explode, or tell them something that is harsh, this is equally as bad.
The assertive person is someone who explains themselves to others and they will do so in a way that is not offensive.