One of the biggest problem with most anger management programs is that they focus on anger as being the problem instead of focusing on “the ways in which people handle their anger.” Anger is an emotion that all humans express, and there is a reason why we express it.
Anger is the emotion expressed by a human being when they want to let other human beings know that they are not happy with the situation they are in. There are times when anger can be very helpful. For example, lets say that an investigation reveals that a local company in a city has been polluting a river, killing the wildlife there and making it unsafe for the people who live in the area.
In a situation like this, the public would be angry, and for good reason. Some people may get together and hold protests in front of the headquarters for the company, and eventually all the publicity causes the company to reimburse the people of the town and change their policies so that they no longer pollute the river. Here is a situation where anger, public anger, worked for the better good to solve a problem.
In another example, lets say that you have a teenager, and you have talked to them about the dangers of drinking alcohol. You one day find an empty alcohol bottle in their room while you are going in to check on them. As a parent, you have every right to be angry, and perhaps you sternly scold your teen and inform them that they are being punished by being grounded. While your child is unhappy with the punishment, they learn from their lesson and grow up to be a responsible adult, who does not abuse alcohol. As you can see, in both situations, the anger displayed was justified.
No one wants to live in a city with polluted water and no one wants their teenage son or daughter drinking alcohol (no responsible parent anyway). In these situations, by displaying anger, the problem was solved. While anger is bad to display in most cases, there are times when it is not only good, but necessary.
Anger should displayed so long as it does not lead to emotional, social, or financial problems. When you are in a situation where you are becoming angry, one of the first things you should ask yourself is whether or not anger should be shown in this scenario. In some situations, showing anger to others can make it appear as if you are guilty, especially if you have been accused of something you did not do.
If you show anger in this situation, others may wonder why you are so mad, if you did not do anything wrong. If you show anger when you’re accused of something, you will look guilty. This is an example of anger which has a social cost. However, anger can be good when it allows you to overcome your fear. For example, if someone is trying to physically harm you, this is a situation where anger could very well save your life.
Anger can also be good when it gives you the fuel which you need to succeed. For example, a boxer who grew up with a rough childhood can use the anger he has bottled up in order to allow him to train harder, to move faster, and to punch with more power. He can use his anger in order to push him to work his body harder than his competition, and in the ring, he can focus this anger to give his opponents devastating knockouts. Anger is like fire, it can cook your food, but it can also send you to the hospital with third degree burns if you are not careful. The way in which you use your anger will determine how far you succeed in life.
As a professional, you will face situations which anger you, and you must respond appropriately. It has often been sad that life is not fair, and this is very true. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. Those who should get promotions do not get, and those who have the merit to succeed are often left behind by those who are not qualified, but by those who have the right connections.
In this world of unfairness, anger and rage is very understandable. But again, these feelings should be used in a constructive, not destructive manner. Those who are able to use their anger and frustration in a positive way will surpass those who do not.