As a kid, you will always see bullies picking on small students at school. In fact, you might even be one of the bullies or been bullied for sometime before you grown a little bit. A child could have a hard time dealing with bullies since they are dealing with someone bigger. Time flies fast for children and through the help of the school, this is often addressed.
Bullies eventually became a memory of the past and more often than not, these bullies have little effect on their adult lives. But bullying is not only limited on kids. There are adult bullies that push the boundaries of those bullied. Bullies insist their ideas and force others to follow what they like – even though they are not the best idea or preferred by the majority.
Adult bullies could be found in the workplace as well as in their homes. In the workplace, managers or senior employees would often shout, scold or intimidate other employees or anyone under them. As already indicated, they force their ideas and lead by fear instead of being their leader. At home, adult bullies would often yell at their family members – also creating fear as part of their discipline.
Effects of Adult Bullying
Bullying is never a good thing – both on kids and adults. However, the impact of adult bullying especially at home could destroy families and easily affect the workplace.
In the workplace, bullying your employees to work better or faster might have initial results. But the long term effect of constantly instilling fear on employees would have significant effects on productivity. Bullies could drive away good employees and prevent better ideas from coming out because they will insist on what they believe in.
At home, bullies could destroy the family simply because the healthy, loving relationship is no longer there. Fear became the number one motivator of the family as threats and even physical assault will happen. This will not only happen to the kids but to the partner as well.
Motivation and Change
Changing the behavior of bullies is very difficult. Anger management classes are highly recommended to help them modify their behavior for them to be a little bit likable instead of a complete bully. But even with intensive anger management classes, a person might not change at all unless there is a motivation.
Before continuing with motivation to change the bully, it should be noted that bullies are generally unaware of their behavior. Usually, they think they act normally since they are able to do things better when they bully.
Considering the previously mentioned factor, it is important for the family and the workplace to point out the bully-like behavior of the individual which will also help in motivation.
The motivation to change a bully varies depending on their situation. For example, the best motivator for those who bully at work would be their career. If they do not change fast, they might lose their job. For the family, motivation could be through the realization that the person’s bullying actions has affected their relationship.
Coping with Bullies
Handling bullies could be challenging but possible. Even though they might be intimidating, they only want one thing – to be better on the given situation. For example, managers shout at their employees so that they will improve in their productivity. When you think you are working with a bully, always remember their positive goal instead of the negative.
When you think the bully is being too pushy about an idea, change the topic or create humor out of the situation. It will lighten the mood which will remove the tension the workplace.
Last but not the least, it is important to deal with the bully head-on but not physically. When talking to a bully, look at them straight in the eye and show no fear or sign of intimidation. This might take some courage on your end but expect no physical harm especially in the workplace. A bully will find himself or herself in legal trouble when physical harm is done.
Adult bullies exist. They could easily cause harm wherever they are as they cause fear. But when they are properly handled, their motivation could even be used for the advantage of the business and even for personal reasons.