Logo

Navigation
  • Home
  • Services
    • ERP Solutions
    • Implementation Solutions
    • Support and Maintenance Solutions
    • Custom Solutions
    • Upgrade Solutions
    • Training and Mentoring
    • Web Solutions
    • Production Support
    • Architecture Designing
    • Independent Validation and Testing Services
    • Infrastructure Management
  • Expertise
    • Microsoft Development Expertise
    • Mobile Development
    • SQL Server Database and BI
    • SAP BI, SAP Hana, SAP BO
    • Oracle and BI
    • Oracle RAC
  • Technical Training
    • Learn Data Management
      • Business Intelligence
      • Data Mining
      • Data Modeling
      • Data Warehousing
      • Disaster Recovery
    • Learn Concepts
      • Application Development
      • Client Server
      • Cloud Computing Tutorials
      • Cluster Computing
      • CRM Tutorial
      • EDI Tutorials
      • ERP Tutorials
      • NLP
      • OOPS
      • Concepts
      • SOA Tutorial
      • Supply Chain
      • Technology Trends
      • UML
      • Virtualization
      • Web 2.0
    • Learn Java
      • JavaScript Tutorial
      • JSP Tutorials
      • J2EE
    • Learn Microsoft
      • MSAS
      • ASP.NET
      • ASP.NET 2.0
      • C Sharp
      • MS Project Training
      • Silverlight
      • SQL Server 2005
      • VB.NET 2005
    • Learn Networking
      • Networking
      • Wireless
    • Learn Oracle
      • Oracle 10g
      • PL/SQL
      • Oracle 11g Tutorials
      • Oracle 9i
      • Oracle Apps
    • Learn Programming
      • Ajax Tutorial
      • C Language
      • C++ Tutorials
      • CSS Tutorial
      • CSS3 Tutorial
      • JavaScript Tutorial
      • jQuery Tutorial
      • MainFrame
      • PHP Tutorial
      • VBScript Tutorial
      • XML Tutorial
    • Learn Software Testing
      • Software Testing Types
      • SQA
      • Testing
  • Career Training
    • Career Improvement
      • Career Articles
      • Certification Articles
      • Conflict Management
      • Core Skills
      • Decision Making
      • Entrepreneurship
      • Goal Setting
      • Life Skills
      • Performance Development
      • Personal Excellence
      • Personality Development
      • Problem Solving
      • Relationship Management
      • Self Confidence
      • Self Supervision
      • Social Networking
      • Strategic Planning
      • Time Management
    • Education Help
      • Career Tracks
      • Essay Writing
      • Internship Tips
      • Online Education
      • Scholarships
      • Student Loans
    • Managerial Skills
      • Business Communication
      • Business Networking
      • Facilitator Skills
      • Managing Change
      • Marketing Management
      • Meeting Management
      • Process Management
      • Project Management
      • Project Management Life Cycle
      • Project Management Process
      • Project Risk Management
      • Relationship Management
      • Task Management
      • Team Building
      • Virtual Team Management
    • Essential Life Skills
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety Management
      • Attitude Development
      • Coaching and Mentoring
      • Emotional Intelligence
      • Stress Management
      • Positive Thinking
    • Communication Skills
      • Conversation Skills
      • Cross Culture Competence
      • English Vocabulary
      • Listening Skills
      • Public Speaking Skills
      • Questioning Skills
    • Soft Skills
      • Assertive Skills
      • Influence Skills
      • Leadership Skills
      • Memory Skills
      • People Skills
      • Presentation Skills
    • Finding a Job
      • Etiquette Tips
      • Group Discussions
      • HR Interviews
      • Interview Notes
      • Job Search Tips
      • Resume Tips
      • Sample Resumes
 

Importance of Being Firm Without Being Rude

By Exforsys | on January 21, 2009 |
Assertive Skills

Controlling Your Emotions is Key

Humans are emotional creatures, and this emotion often gets them into trouble. When you are dealing with people on a personal level, and especially a business level, it is always critical to keep your emotions in check.

Assertive people tend to be the masters of this art. When they feel someone is treating them poorly, they can let this be known without resorting to aggression. Being too emotional in business is always a bad thing. You must be able to state your terms in a manner which is professional and clear.

Another mistake that people make, especially those who are passive, is thinking that they do not have a great deal of choice when it comes to the way you act. This is completely incorrect. You are a human being who has a right to your own body or mind, and you can act in any manner you choose to.

When you feel that you "cannot control the way you act," other people will control you. People who are aggressive are often famous for having bad tempers. It takes little to make them explode, and if they even think you are disrespecting them, they will let you know it, often in an aggressive way.

The problem with those who have bad tempers is that they are easily manipulated. Once you know what buttons to push, you can push an ill tempered individual to do something that they will later regret.

A person who blows up easily is a person who is not in control of their life, no matter how much it appears they are.  A person who is in control is more often than not a person who is cool, calm, and very collective.

While they may become angry when they are offended, this anger grows slowly, and they do not allow it to consume them.

How to be Firm Without Being Rude

Being firm without being rude can be thought of as being an art in itself. The assertive person is someone who is a master of this art. One technique for being firm without being rude is the "mirror effect."

Most people hate it when a person mimics their actions and words, but this technique can be used to give people a dose of their own medicine. For example, lets say you work in an office next to someone, and you one day notice that they are leaving traces of trash near your cubicle.

You are naturally irritated by this, and you have the option of confronting the person about it in a hostile way. Aggressive people would do this, while passive people would ignore the situation or put the trash in the trash can without saying anything.

In contrast, someone who uses the mirror effect would begin leaving trash in the other person’s cubicle area. If this person complains about it, you can respond by calmly saying that you were just showing them what it is like to have trash in their cubicle area, since they have been doing the same to you.

In most cases, the person will get it, especially if you are calm about it. As the famous Spanish writer Baltasar Gracian said, "the truth of seen, rarely heard".

If you can show people that you are firm without being aggressive, then you will become a master of not only your personal relationships, but your business relationships as well. While some would say it is rude to leave trash in the other person’s cubicle, this is not necessarily true when you are simply giving them a taste of their own medicine.

Being Assertive Brings you Respect

When you are assertive, people tend to have a lot of respect for you. They will respect you because you are an individual who will not allow yourself to be pushed around, but you refrain from offending others at the same time.

For many people, being assertive is a skill that will take a lot of practice. It is not something that you should expect to become good at overnight. But once you master this skill, there will be few limits to the type of success you can achieve, regardless of the field you enter.

« « 5 Ways to Become More Assertive
Learn How to Say “No” » »

Author Description

Avatar

Editorial Team at Exforsys is a team of IT Consulting and Training team led by Chandra Vennapoosa.

Free Training

RSSSubscribe 394 Followers
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • How to Avoid Conflict

    January 28, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Become More Assertive

    January 29, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Speak Your Mind

    February 1, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Assertive Communication

    January 30, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Learn How to Say “No”

    January 22, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Manage Stress

    February 7, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • 5 Ways to Become More Assertive

    January 20, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Role of Assertiveness in Career Building

    February 4, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Handle Bullying at Workplace

    January 24, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Non-Verbal Assertive Communication

    January 23, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Manage Stress

    February 7, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Role of Assertiveness in Career Building

    February 4, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Speak Your Mind

    February 1, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Assertive Communication

    January 30, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Become More Assertive

    January 29, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Avoid Conflict

    January 28, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Use Your Body Language

    January 27, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Traits of an Assertive Manager

    January 26, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Know When to be Assertive

    January 25, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Handle Bullying at Workplace

    January 24, 2009 - 0 Comment

Exforsys e-Newsletter

ebook
 

Related Articles

  • How to Manage Stress
  • Role of Assertiveness in Career Building
  • How to Speak Your Mind
  • Assertive Communication
  • How to Become More Assertive

Latest Articles

  • Project Management Techniques
  • Product Development Best Practices
  • Importance of Quality Data Management
  • How to Maximize Quality Assurance
  • Utilizing Effective Quality Assurance Strategies
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA
  • Trademark Information
  • Contact Us
© 2023. All Rights Reserved.IT Training and Consulting
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptReject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT