Logo

Navigation
  • Home
  • Services
    • ERP Solutions
    • Implementation Solutions
    • Support and Maintenance Solutions
    • Custom Solutions
    • Upgrade Solutions
    • Training and Mentoring
    • Web Solutions
    • Production Support
    • Architecture Designing
    • Independent Validation and Testing Services
    • Infrastructure Management
  • Expertise
    • Microsoft Development Expertise
    • Mobile Development
    • SQL Server Database and BI
    • SAP BI, SAP Hana, SAP BO
    • Oracle and BI
    • Oracle RAC
  • Technical Training
    • Learn Data Management
      • Business Intelligence
      • Data Mining
      • Data Modeling
      • Data Warehousing
      • Disaster Recovery
    • Learn Concepts
      • Application Development
      • Client Server
      • Cloud Computing Tutorials
      • Cluster Computing
      • CRM Tutorial
      • EDI Tutorials
      • ERP Tutorials
      • NLP
      • OOPS
      • Concepts
      • SOA Tutorial
      • Supply Chain
      • Technology Trends
      • UML
      • Virtualization
      • Web 2.0
    • Learn Java
      • JavaScript Tutorial
      • JSP Tutorials
      • J2EE
    • Learn Microsoft
      • MSAS
      • ASP.NET
      • ASP.NET 2.0
      • C Sharp
      • MS Project Training
      • Silverlight
      • SQL Server 2005
      • VB.NET 2005
    • Learn Networking
      • Networking
      • Wireless
    • Learn Oracle
      • Oracle 10g
      • PL/SQL
      • Oracle 11g Tutorials
      • Oracle 9i
      • Oracle Apps
    • Learn Programming
      • Ajax Tutorial
      • C Language
      • C++ Tutorials
      • CSS Tutorial
      • CSS3 Tutorial
      • JavaScript Tutorial
      • jQuery Tutorial
      • MainFrame
      • PHP Tutorial
      • VBScript Tutorial
      • XML Tutorial
    • Learn Software Testing
      • Software Testing Types
      • SQA
      • Testing
  • Career Training
    • Career Improvement
      • Career Articles
      • Certification Articles
      • Conflict Management
      • Core Skills
      • Decision Making
      • Entrepreneurship
      • Goal Setting
      • Life Skills
      • Performance Development
      • Personal Excellence
      • Personality Development
      • Problem Solving
      • Relationship Management
      • Self Confidence
      • Self Supervision
      • Social Networking
      • Strategic Planning
      • Time Management
    • Education Help
      • Career Tracks
      • Essay Writing
      • Internship Tips
      • Online Education
      • Scholarships
      • Student Loans
    • Managerial Skills
      • Business Communication
      • Business Networking
      • Facilitator Skills
      • Managing Change
      • Marketing Management
      • Meeting Management
      • Process Management
      • Project Management
      • Project Management Life Cycle
      • Project Management Process
      • Project Risk Management
      • Relationship Management
      • Task Management
      • Team Building
      • Virtual Team Management
    • Essential Life Skills
      • Anger Management
      • Anxiety Management
      • Attitude Development
      • Coaching and Mentoring
      • Emotional Intelligence
      • Stress Management
      • Positive Thinking
    • Communication Skills
      • Conversation Skills
      • Cross Culture Competence
      • English Vocabulary
      • Listening Skills
      • Public Speaking Skills
      • Questioning Skills
    • Soft Skills
      • Assertive Skills
      • Influence Skills
      • Leadership Skills
      • Memory Skills
      • People Skills
      • Presentation Skills
    • Finding a Job
      • Etiquette Tips
      • Group Discussions
      • HR Interviews
      • Interview Notes
      • Job Search Tips
      • Resume Tips
      • Sample Resumes
 

Learn How to Say “No”

By Exforsys | on January 22, 2009 |
Assertive Skills

While there are many ways to define the term "assertiveness," some simply describe it as "the ability to say no." This definition is a bit deceptive, and does not give a truly accurate definition of what assertiveness actually mean.

The reason is because the manner in which you say "no" can mean the difference between coming across as being assertive, and coming across as being aggressive.

There are a lot of ways in which you can tell a person "no" but you want to do it in a manner which is assertive as opposed to aggressive. If you are like many people, you do not like the idea of having to tell others that you do not like to do something, or that you do not like what they are doing.

There are many career fields where saying "no," especially to superiors, can get you in a world of trouble. Two of the best examples of such career fields include the military and police forces.

At the same time, you do not want to say "yes" to everything people request of you, especially when it is something that you do not wish to do. The biggest problem that many people face is that they often find themselves being patient or compliant with others for far too long. These people will often finally ignite and then say something that they often end up regretting.

There are generally three ways in which people explode, and the first of these is the anger that keeps growing in your head. More often than not, an individual around you will keep doing something that is annoying and aggravating, and eventually you reach the end of your rope.

The problem with exploding is that those who do it may explode at others who have nothing to do with it.

For example, imagine the mother that abuses her child at the end of a stressful day at work because her boss is driving her over the edge. This is referred to as venting, or taking out your frustrations on someone who has nothing to do with the situation.  You can say "no" without being nasty, but also without being nice

In a social setting, humans can best be described as acting like billiard balls, constantly bouncing into and around each other. It is impossible to go throughout life without having some form of conflict.

Not only will you have conflict in your personal relationships, but you will also have conflict in your business relationships as well. When someone asks you to do something you do not want to do, never be afraid to say no, and when you say no, mean it.

Even if you are someone such as a soldier or police officer, and your superiors want you to do something which is against your value system, you should have no problem saying no.

While you run the risk of losing your job, being demoted, or being punished, you need to have boundaries, and if someone is unwilling to respect those boundaries, including superiors, you should have no problem walking away.

Your dignity and respect should always be more important to you than a job or money. In many cases, once people realize you are willing to walk away, this is generally when they will give in and leave you alone.

Being assertive requires you to stand your ground without offending others, but there are times when you may have to offend others.

For example, if someone is attacking your physically, being assertive will not be very useful.  You will need to defend yourself, and this may require you to use excessive force.

In most areas of our life, this level of aggressiveness is not necessary. Simple assertiveness and the ability to say no is often important.

Controlling Your Emotions

When people do things to annoy you, or they treat you in a manner that you feel is disrespectful, the easiest thing to do is blow up. Equally easy is to handle the situation by ignoring it.

An assertive person will handle the situation in a manner that shows the other person they will not allow themselves to be walked on, but they also do it in a way that is respectful.

« « Importance of Being Firm Without Being Rude
Non-Verbal Assertive Communication » »

Author Description

Avatar

Editorial Team at Exforsys is a team of IT Consulting and Training team led by Chandra Vennapoosa.

Free Training

RSSSubscribe 394 Followers
  • Popular
  • Recent
  • Know When to be Assertive

    January 25, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Traits of an Assertive Manager

    January 26, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Use Your Body Language

    January 27, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Avoid Conflict

    January 28, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Become More Assertive

    January 29, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Speak Your Mind

    February 1, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Assertive Communication

    January 30, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • 5 Ways to Become More Assertive

    January 20, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Manage Stress

    February 7, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Importance of Being Firm Without Being Rude

    January 21, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Manage Stress

    February 7, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Role of Assertiveness in Career Building

    February 4, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Speak Your Mind

    February 1, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Assertive Communication

    January 30, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Become More Assertive

    January 29, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Avoid Conflict

    January 28, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Use Your Body Language

    January 27, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Traits of an Assertive Manager

    January 26, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • Know When to be Assertive

    January 25, 2009 - 0 Comment
  • How to Handle Bullying at Workplace

    January 24, 2009 - 0 Comment

Exforsys e-Newsletter

ebook
 

Related Articles

  • How to Manage Stress
  • Role of Assertiveness in Career Building
  • How to Speak Your Mind
  • Assertive Communication
  • How to Become More Assertive

Latest Articles

  • Project Management Techniques
  • Product Development Best Practices
  • Importance of Quality Data Management
  • How to Maximize Quality Assurance
  • Utilizing Effective Quality Assurance Strategies
  • Sitemap
  • Privacy Policy
  • DMCA
  • Trademark Information
  • Contact Us
© 2023. All Rights Reserved.IT Training and Consulting
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptReject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT