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Non-Verbal Assertive Communication

By Exforsys | on January 23, 2009 |
Assertive Skills

What is Assertive Non-Verbal Communication?

Assertiveness is defined as the ability to stand up for yourself without being overly rude or aggressive at the same time. A person who is non-assertive will often be either one of two things, and this is aggressive or passive. In today’s world, falling under either one of these extremes is negative, and will often block you from getting the things you want in life.

A person that is passive is an individual who people will be quick to walk on. If people think you’re weak, or that you’re easy to use or abuse, then they will often abuse you. Those who are passive tend to be individuals who suffer from low self esteem.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the individual who is aggressive. While these people are quick to defend themselves and their rights, they often do so in a manner which offends a lot of people in the process.

While aggressive people are often more successful than those who are passive, their success is often not a perfect  victory, since they often make so many enemies in the process that their success is usually short lived. Another problem with aggressive people is that they often believe that their beliefs and feelings are more important than everyone around them.

Non-verbal assertive communication is a form of communication in which you are assertive without saying anything. This form of assertiveness requires you to make good use of your body language in order to get your point across. A person who is assertive is someone who understands that everyone has rights. These rights not only include legal rights which are defined by law, but organic laws which supersede it.

The Importance of Assertive Listening

The first step towards performing non-verbal assertiveness is to listen to what is being said to you. When you listen to people, you let them know that you understand what they’re saying. Second, you allow people to know that you understand what they are trying to say to you.

When it comes to non-verbal assertive communication, one thing that you must keep in mind is that understanding someone is different from agreeing with them. Someone could be telling you something that you will never agree with, but you can still use assertive listening to show them that you’re paying attention to what they’re saying.

When you talk to people, look at them directly. When you do this, you show them that you’re giving them your undivided attention. It also may not be a bad idea to lean forward, as this always shows you’re listening. The best posture to have in a situation like this is a relaxed one.

Another form of listening that is closely connected to assertiveness is called assertive listening. With this style of listening, you maintain a relaxed state of mind while you talk with others. This allows you to better understand what is being said, which will allow you to ask questions for clarification.

Even when you do not say anything, it is possible for you to communicate a lot to those around you. Some of the ways in which you communicate in this manner include your posture, the gestures you make, the expressions on your face, and your eyes.

Your personal appearance is important as well. Anyone can use these things to communicate various things to others around them. Those who you communicate with will use these non-verbal cues to determine whether or not you’re sincere, and these non-verbal cues are far more important than anything you say.

Examples of Bad Non-Verbal Assertiveness

There are a number of ways you can communicate bad signals to those you come in contact with, and some of these things include little eye contact, gestures which make you seem nervous, or slouching.

If you behave in these ways, people will question the sincerity of anything you say, and you will find it difficult to build strong relationships, whether they’re business or personal. It is important to always be in control of your non-verbal communication, and always be assertive.

« « Learn How to Say “No”
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Editorial Team at Exforsys is a team of IT Consulting and Training team led by Chandra Vennapoosa.

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